Katoomba Amusements Company

(The following is a short(-ish) pigeon-morse code message from the Colonel regarding his ensuing tales of torpidity, truculence and tropical fever. [Ed. ...er, sorry, correct that, it should be 'his tales of travel in the Orient'! Sorry, Colonel! Those dashed, malicious copyboys have been at it again.)

The Travel Journal of Colonel Reginald Farquhear

Welcome fellow travellers, welcome to the world of another era, to the Oriental meanderings and the seething jungle-infested imagination of Colonel Reginald Farquhear, Royal Camel Corps (retired).

Settle back on your chaise longue with a cool mint julep (or a relaxing gin and tonic) and some fresh cucumber sandwiches (or a half dozen lamingtons) and let the Colonel take you away, far away, but not too, too far.... just far enough, so you can make it back for tea (and crumpets). Enjoy!

Thank you, thank you! And now for the boring bit, wherein I shall read you a brief synopsis of my (harrumph!) journal, for current and future readers (ahem!):

I'm sorry, I'll just gargle a flagon of water here before I start (ahem!). Pardon me a moment!

Right ho then!! (Ahem!) This is my journal surveying the period from whence I first left Mother England's shores for my tenure in Oriental lands training for, and thence married to, service with the Royal Camel Corps, based in southern Arabia. It continues with the period following this, wherein I was seconded to Lord George Nathaniel Curzon, Viceroy of India, on home security duties. During my service there, I travelled extensively in various capacities throughout the Orient learning and experiencing many weird and wonderful things.

In 1900, I returned to Arabia for the remainder of my service until my retirement from the RCC. I stayed on in the region to complete my degree in camel breeding with the Yeshbum Institute of Camel Breeding through Profligacy, in readiness for my planned emigration to Australia.

These things and more you shall learn of me, as well as many more recently uncovered secrets about certain people I am closely acquainted with!

Herewith, I shall share some examples:

* A long-hidden secret about this country's history will be revealed in these pages!!

* My revelations about the secret experiments and inventions of Dr Yorrick and Professor Pickwick!!!

* and, the torrid truth of the secret affairs of the ladies (and gentlemen) of the Katoomba Amusements Company!!!!

All will be revealed here first!!!!! (Unless of course, the blighters beat me to it, harrumph!!!!!!).

THE COLONEL'S JOURNAL KNOWS!!!!!!!