Katoomba Amusements Company Public Notices

The Katoomba Amusements Company's first Animated Pictorial 'The Hat' will be projected onto the screen at King's Theatre, Katoomba St. from the 1st of May till the 31st of May, 1911 with a gala performance by the players on the First.

The players for the Animated Pictorial are shown in this theatre poster (a larger version of this poster may be found down below [about 30 fathoms below actually]), and are, from left to right: Dr. Yorrick, Miss. Isabel V. Franklin, Col. Reginald Farquhear, Mr. Henry Hedgewick, Miss. Leonora Godaire and Mr. Harry Filletts.

This the 1st edition of 'The Travels of Col. R. Farquhear 1886-1911'. Copies may be purchased through the Vale of Clwydd Bookstore in Lithgow, Miss. Honeybunny's Books and Stationery store in Leura and via the tradesmen's entrance of Hedgewick's Emporium in Katoomba.

(A quote from the author) "Spiffing workmanship by Bleckinsopp, Murgatroyd and Hockleberry, Publishers At Large!..........and they certainly are, they still haven't paid me my royalties, the blaggards!!!"

Professor Hedgewick and Doctor Yorrick wish it to be announced that they will be holding a Grand Invention Exposition in the grounds of The Carrington Hotel, Katoomba during June moving to the Lithgow Sports Field in July. All of a sound health and mind are welcome, especially as the participants may not be totally of a sound mind!!

Time for a soothing gin and tonic we feel, and perhaps a plate full of Miss. Leonora's delicious lamingtons.

For all those foreign fellows who've never experienced a lamington, it is basically a small cube of sponge cake with a layer of raspberry jam in the centre, dipped in chocolate and sprinkled all over with shredded coconut.

Absolutely delectable,.....if you're that way inclined.

Well, I think it's time to retire to my favourite cane peacock chair on the verandah and watch the world go by....slowly! C'est la vie!!!

Doctor Yorrick's Homemade Appelgebak

Yum!! Yum!!! Just right for this old Colonel's tum!!

How deliciously delightful!!!

(Customers, and especially Mlles. Isabel et Leonora - please note)

And all delivered direct to your door on the good (but sometimes a tad naughty) Doctor's very own bicycle built for two!

(All unattached ladies between Lawson and Lithgow please take note. The Doctor is also available for pleasant rides 'around and about'.)

[N.B. The Colonel wishes it known that the directly preceding statement was added under extreme duress, namely the potential revelation of the Colonel's secret camel-breeding methods of which 'nothing further will ever be said' - harrumph!!]

Miss. Isabel's Gentlemania

An ode to the redoubtable Miss. Isabel Violet Franklin as she skips through the vast fields of rambling gentlemen and blooming suitors with her ever-expandable 'males only' butterfly net, sweeping them to her bosom and....(CUT-CEASE-STOP)

Note from Miss. Isabel: I have taken this opportunity to edit this ode-ity scribbled by writers and persons 'unknown' to me, and to re-establish my propriety and good name before the aforementioned scribblers venture any further in their literary explorations.

I would also wish them to take note that 'Daddy' funds this 'den of Bohemians' and does not approve of mention of bodily parts in any shape or form...and especially if they should be that of my own (humph!)!!

Miss. Leonora's First Solo Flight

Now before you are all reaching for your 'Birdwatcher's Field Guide to Australian Birds' let me assure you this is not at all avian. This is Miss. Leonora testing Professor Hedgewick's patent 'Stretchy-rope-swing-thingy' for the first time between two of the 3 Sisters at Echo Point recently.

Braving the elements, and who knows what else, she ascended the human support ladder that the Professor had kindly assembled from bedazzled onlookers and rested her posterior in the 'Stretchy-rope-swing-thingy' and began to swing rhythmically aided by the exuberant sounds of the Katoomba Police Brass Band.

From there it was all plain sailing, or swinging as it were, and these images tell their own story.

However, I do have my doubts about whether the following images are also ones of Miss. Leonora or of a passing fruit bat trying its hand. or rather wing, on the Professor's amazing invention! I shall leave it up to the viewer's individual musings.

Rumble...In The Jungle??!!

Col. Farquhear: Oh dear, is that those dashed jungle drums again causing this vibration, or is it a mini-earthquake??!!

Mr. Hedgewick: It may be just your malaria tremens, Colonel. Try some of this tonic water, it has quinine in it, meant to be good for that sort of thing! And you may as well add a spot of gin while you're at it. None of that tepid English stuff, of course, but proper strong genever from the Netherlands. Puts hair on parts you may not want hair, they say!!

Colonel (warily): Sounds jolly good, Henry dear fellow, but I may just stick to my spring water, I think.

Miss. Isabel V. Franklin: May I try some, dearest Henry, as Daddy is paying??

Henry (surprisedly): But aren't you concerned about the, er...repugnant hair growth Miss. Isabel??!!

Miss. Isabel: Well no, Henry dear, I never allow extraneous hair on my person. Any hair I have will only grow exactly where I tell it to! Isn't that what you do, Henry,...Colonel...??!!

(pregnant pause)

Colonel: Ahh!....Hmm...!! Well, actually everything seems to have been returned to normal now, so I don't think any medicinal remedies will be necessary, thank you, anyway (ahem).

Henry: Certainly, Colonel, I quite understand and I think Miss. Isabel does as well. We'll stick to our spa waters then shall we?

Miss. Isabel (disappointedly): Oh! Not even a little nip then??

Henry: Well, we mustn't spend Daddy's money unwisely, should we, Miss. Isabel?

Colonel (distractedly): Hmmm!..still, it is rather odd that everything seems to be on a slant now, or is it just me??!! I feel like I'm sliding off my chair here!

Miss. Isabel: Goodness, Colonel dear, are you sure you weren't indulging in Daddy's whisky when you dropped by for a tete-a-tete this afternoon?

Colonel: No, I just asked for some barley water and...ohh!...you don't think!...well, what a naughty old fellow your father is, Miss. Isabel!! Dashed old rapscallion like me, what??!!

Magpie Mockery

(An ongoing series of snippets overheard on the streets of Katoomba)

It has been relayed to me by a close acquaintance, who was told by their cousin twice removed, that his sister had heard that the Colonel and the infamous Dr. Yorrick have been of late playing 'games' with the local ladies and attempting to convince them that they are really the renowned Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson 'in disguise'.

The Colonel has taken to wearing a deerstalker hat and smoking a pipe when in the company of a large entourage of Katoomba and Leura ladies. He, thus attired, thence produces a large magnifying glass and commences 'investigating' any gentlemen who may approach the aforesaid ladies and loudly describing to the company their 'inherent tendencies as to licentiousness toward ladies of refinement'.

This action drives away many of the ladies' potential suitors in disgust and reduces the ladies in the 'devilish duos' entourage to 'rampant fainting fits'. Thence this result instigates a call by the Colonel to his 'twin trickster', Dr. 'Watson', to arrive on the scene and they both proceed to revive the often prostrate ladies with 'malodourous' smelling salts and other fiendish implements of 'jackanapery' the Doctor produces from his 'bag of tricks'.

On awakening from their fainting spell the 'practical joking pair' continue their farce by emphasising to the ladies how they have most likely saved them from a potential 'fate worse than death' and that they should not venture out in social company without the two of them as 'chaperones'.

Fortunately only the youngest and most naive of the local ladies are taken in by this, and they are soon convinced by their elders as to the terrible 'rapscallion' and 'scallywag' natures of this pair of jackanapes!!

Afterword: Mr. Henry Hedgewick, esq. of Hedgewick's Emporium (open Mon. to Sat.) has been asked by the local Ladies Union for Scallywag Temperance (henceforth, L.U.S.T.) to reign in the trickery of these 'jack-in-the-box jokers' and to keep a watchful eye on any potential copycats.